This morning I stumbled across a U.S.News article that spoke out against anti-abortionist who has taken to radicalism to make there point. The radicals yell obscenities at the people entering the clinics, make bomb threats, hack websites, on and on. So I have to ask myself are they helping anyone, are they making a difference, or are they making it harder for those who are?
After spending time at the corner next to the clinic last week, I feel frustrated when I hear that people continue to use negative behavior trying to stop a negative behavior. They give everyone a bad name in the process.
I am thankful for the group that stands on the corner in my community; they are peaceful loving people who want to make change and offer help, and do it with love. I can only pray for those who think being radical about things, to see that what they do is of little help, they need to vote their concerns, write letters to their congressmen, and realize that the people who are entering those clinics (patient or worker) are human too, when did we stop seeing the faces of those we harm. You will not change their minds if you never touch their hearts, and you will never get to their heart if they feel threatened.
It also saddens me when so many of these radical do these things under the blanket of religion. No where in the scriptures I read does it give me the authority to commit harm, mentally or physical, to another human. I am to show love, peace, patience, healing, forgiveness, and always striving for restoration in our relationship with God, regardless of the action (or in the Christian world - Sin); which is what I will continue to strive for.
This morning its gray and raining out side; and that matches my feelings when I read about people who are trying to do the right thing, but got that idea twisted in the execution of it. We speak out against bullies in the schools who bring harm to our children, but sometimes we miss the adult bullies that are out to shame and physically hurt others, using their cause as a immunity card for their behavior.
Time for me to get off my soapbox....like I said, it makes me gray.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
New directions thanks to an abortion
After experiencing a day on the corner, I'm finding a renewed feeling about where I'm going with my story. I learned that the local area is having a walk to raise money for the Pregnancy Resource Centers in our area and I'm prepared to start training to walk in that fund raiser. Also I feel like maybe I could find my voice yet, and that I could publicly speak about it, even if it is only to my own church.
I've also been given the opportunity to lead a community outreach program and I've been realizing how entangled my need to share my story has taken me deeper into the need to be out in my community making a difference. To use my story to help motivate others to step out and stand on that corner too; as well as work with organizations to provide counseling for post abortive people and many other areas such has parenting classes, feeding the hungry, assisting the shut-in's, and the list goes on and on. To recognize that becoming a Christian was not a one time event, but a life time of commitment to God and serving others. It's far from warming a seat on the pew each week, or serving only those within the walls of a church. It's banning together with other believers to show love to those outside those walls that will matter the most.
I've worked doing community events as well as events for the benefit of the members at different churches over the years, but now this kind of work seems to have new meaning to me. By standing on that corner, I know what it is to stand out there and show unconditional love, and I know what it means to receive it. It's not about doing something expecting some kind of reward, but it's putting yourself out there for others with no expectation of compensation, and sometimes even acknowledgement.
So sharing my story with all of you who have been reading along has only proven to me more that this journey is far from over. I don't know if I will go deeper into the fight against abortion, or if I will be lead in a different direction all together, but I'm sure God will show me the way, I'll I have to do is have a willing heart. I also know that everything I do is somehow linked to that abortion if for nothing else; it has made me who I am.
Some of the signs held on the corner say "I regret my abortion, or Men regret abortion too", but at this point in my life I can say I don't regret my abortion. I regret the loss and not knowing that child, I regret the sin that brought me to that choice, but going through that experience has brought me here. I have learned what it is to forgive and be forgiven. It has given me a soft heart for those who are struggling with choice, it has given me a story to use to encourage others, so when it comes to that, no I don't regret it. I am far from done writing, my journey continues and I hope you continue to be here with me.
I know abortion will still continue to impact me, I'm sure I'm not done crying about it, but today is not that day; today the sun is out, the sky is amazingly blue and I am heading out to enjoy it knowing God loves me in spite of my screw ups and my faults. I will continue to have moments of failure in my life, and have others fail and disappointment me, but what's important is that we handle it all in love and grace.
Many blessings to each of you. Never be afraid to ask for help, and never be afraid of showing love and kindness to others.
As I stepped onto my front porch I had to run back in a grab my camera and take a shot of the sky to share with you.
I've also been given the opportunity to lead a community outreach program and I've been realizing how entangled my need to share my story has taken me deeper into the need to be out in my community making a difference. To use my story to help motivate others to step out and stand on that corner too; as well as work with organizations to provide counseling for post abortive people and many other areas such has parenting classes, feeding the hungry, assisting the shut-in's, and the list goes on and on. To recognize that becoming a Christian was not a one time event, but a life time of commitment to God and serving others. It's far from warming a seat on the pew each week, or serving only those within the walls of a church. It's banning together with other believers to show love to those outside those walls that will matter the most.
I've worked doing community events as well as events for the benefit of the members at different churches over the years, but now this kind of work seems to have new meaning to me. By standing on that corner, I know what it is to stand out there and show unconditional love, and I know what it means to receive it. It's not about doing something expecting some kind of reward, but it's putting yourself out there for others with no expectation of compensation, and sometimes even acknowledgement.
So sharing my story with all of you who have been reading along has only proven to me more that this journey is far from over. I don't know if I will go deeper into the fight against abortion, or if I will be lead in a different direction all together, but I'm sure God will show me the way, I'll I have to do is have a willing heart. I also know that everything I do is somehow linked to that abortion if for nothing else; it has made me who I am.
Some of the signs held on the corner say "I regret my abortion, or Men regret abortion too", but at this point in my life I can say I don't regret my abortion. I regret the loss and not knowing that child, I regret the sin that brought me to that choice, but going through that experience has brought me here. I have learned what it is to forgive and be forgiven. It has given me a soft heart for those who are struggling with choice, it has given me a story to use to encourage others, so when it comes to that, no I don't regret it. I am far from done writing, my journey continues and I hope you continue to be here with me.
I know abortion will still continue to impact me, I'm sure I'm not done crying about it, but today is not that day; today the sun is out, the sky is amazingly blue and I am heading out to enjoy it knowing God loves me in spite of my screw ups and my faults. I will continue to have moments of failure in my life, and have others fail and disappointment me, but what's important is that we handle it all in love and grace.
Many blessings to each of you. Never be afraid to ask for help, and never be afraid of showing love and kindness to others.
As I stepped onto my front porch I had to run back in a grab my camera and take a shot of the sky to share with you.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
A New Friday....
Yesterday morning at 5:30am, I found myself awake, laying in bed with tears streaming down my face. I had the intense realization it was Friday, and with the realization I knew that this would be the day. The day all my appointments and projects were put on hold, any random acts of laziness would have to wait.
This was my day to stand on the corner with the others. Not just drive by, to shield my eyes from them, but to be one of them, to tell my story and to hear theirs.
They shared stories of taking a woman to Pregnancy Resource Center four blocks from where we stood, and after having a positive pregnancy test, and with the help of the resource center had her child. Another case a woman was returning after an abortion and appeared to be very ill, and after one of the volunteer too the woman to the hospital they found to find that she had a serious infection as a result from her abortion. One of the men shared with me that one day he was actually on the corner of the post office across the street just praying and there was a gentleman milling around who seemed to want to say something, so the man I was speaking with asked him if he could help him. In turn the man shared that he had a child of his aborted without having a say in the matter and that even now many years later, he still suffered the loss of it. The man I was speaking with was able to provided resources for counseling for the man. The stranger on the corner was moved by the fact that they were there, just like I have been, he needed someone to hear him, to know that abortion had caused him years of pain.
They showed me that if I stand on the far side of the north driveway, those in the waiting room upstairs can see us, and if we happen to step onto their property just a little they are more than willing to call the police. There are cameras on all sides of the building and they are continually watching to see that we are not stepping out of line. As we stand there chatting over to coarse of the 2.5 hours I'm there, I watch a unmarked police car circle by several times just keeping an eye on things. Also while we are there by the driveway the mail carrier is entering the law office that in the location below the clinic and she turns and thanks us for being there. I learn that the law office is the building owners and they are as unhappy as the clinic that we are there, they feel threatened that if our being there ever caused the clinic to close or move he would loose his renter, so they make threats and call the police too, even when the group stuck free standing signs in the dirt around a tree in the sidewalk, so that is not allowed either.
These people who stand on that corner provide a resource sheet for anyone who will take it with free clinic resources, information about the link from the pill to breast cancer with alternatives to the pill, post abortion resources, and pregnancy and post natal services. They stand on the corners holding their signs and they pray....and some where in the mix they were praying for me. I talked with both men and woman with willing hearts to do a unselfish work for God, that have a love for others even when they see little results. Today I was one of there results, and it was humbling to me to be thanked so lovingly for coming to the corner and sharing my story.
In the time I am there I see many that won't acknowledge that we are there, some will just say "No, Thank You", and a few were willing to listen even if for just a minute or so. I listened as they share with two different couples, one was willing to take the information offered, and interestingly enough it was the guys that were more interested or at least more polite about listening. One woman came and spoke with us after her appointment with her young daughter and infant son, and one woman was willing to roll down her car window as she left and accept the information, while others were talking on cell phones (which funny enough is against the law here) and would not look up at us. The group told me of stories of getting the thumbs up from some who drive buy, some thumbs down and other finger gestures from the traffic that pass them, but during my visit to the corner there was little acknowledgement that we were there.
Toward the end of the morning I chatted with one of the younger women there, and we talked about what kind of signs would better reach those coming to the clinic, and different approaches that would provide someone visiting the clinic feel safe in approaching us not condemned. They were asking the same questions that I asked as I watched them each week; how do we show hope, love and caring to people who are hurting?
I now look at these dedicated people as friends and people I will pray for as they do their work, and people I will see again because I will be back from time to time to stand with them again.
This was my day to stand on the corner with the others. Not just drive by, to shield my eyes from them, but to be one of them, to tell my story and to hear theirs.
~~~~~~~
Upon arriving across the street from the clinic, I climb out of my truck, pull out print outs of my blog and my camera and with coffee in hand I head across the street toward the few that had already gathered. I could feel the lump in my throat growing and the emotion welling up inside me, asking my self all the way there how do I approach these people, how do I explain why I'm there? But as I walked up to the three ladies who were standing on the edge of the driveway I began to choke up and tears were welling in my eyes, and it was with God's grace that they asked me if they could help me. I said "yes, but not the way you think". I was able to share with them how their efforts of standing on that corner caused me to be standing there now. I was able to tell them that I struggled with them standing there; they were hard to look at some days, that some days they made me angry and some days sad. But it was seeing them every week that also caused me to write.They shared stories of taking a woman to Pregnancy Resource Center four blocks from where we stood, and after having a positive pregnancy test, and with the help of the resource center had her child. Another case a woman was returning after an abortion and appeared to be very ill, and after one of the volunteer too the woman to the hospital they found to find that she had a serious infection as a result from her abortion. One of the men shared with me that one day he was actually on the corner of the post office across the street just praying and there was a gentleman milling around who seemed to want to say something, so the man I was speaking with asked him if he could help him. In turn the man shared that he had a child of his aborted without having a say in the matter and that even now many years later, he still suffered the loss of it. The man I was speaking with was able to provided resources for counseling for the man. The stranger on the corner was moved by the fact that they were there, just like I have been, he needed someone to hear him, to know that abortion had caused him years of pain.
They showed me that if I stand on the far side of the north driveway, those in the waiting room upstairs can see us, and if we happen to step onto their property just a little they are more than willing to call the police. There are cameras on all sides of the building and they are continually watching to see that we are not stepping out of line. As we stand there chatting over to coarse of the 2.5 hours I'm there, I watch a unmarked police car circle by several times just keeping an eye on things. Also while we are there by the driveway the mail carrier is entering the law office that in the location below the clinic and she turns and thanks us for being there. I learn that the law office is the building owners and they are as unhappy as the clinic that we are there, they feel threatened that if our being there ever caused the clinic to close or move he would loose his renter, so they make threats and call the police too, even when the group stuck free standing signs in the dirt around a tree in the sidewalk, so that is not allowed either.
These people who stand on that corner provide a resource sheet for anyone who will take it with free clinic resources, information about the link from the pill to breast cancer with alternatives to the pill, post abortion resources, and pregnancy and post natal services. They stand on the corners holding their signs and they pray....and some where in the mix they were praying for me. I talked with both men and woman with willing hearts to do a unselfish work for God, that have a love for others even when they see little results. Today I was one of there results, and it was humbling to me to be thanked so lovingly for coming to the corner and sharing my story.
In the time I am there I see many that won't acknowledge that we are there, some will just say "No, Thank You", and a few were willing to listen even if for just a minute or so. I listened as they share with two different couples, one was willing to take the information offered, and interestingly enough it was the guys that were more interested or at least more polite about listening. One woman came and spoke with us after her appointment with her young daughter and infant son, and one woman was willing to roll down her car window as she left and accept the information, while others were talking on cell phones (which funny enough is against the law here) and would not look up at us. The group told me of stories of getting the thumbs up from some who drive buy, some thumbs down and other finger gestures from the traffic that pass them, but during my visit to the corner there was little acknowledgement that we were there.
Toward the end of the morning I chatted with one of the younger women there, and we talked about what kind of signs would better reach those coming to the clinic, and different approaches that would provide someone visiting the clinic feel safe in approaching us not condemned. They were asking the same questions that I asked as I watched them each week; how do we show hope, love and caring to people who are hurting?
~~~~~~~
Now as I sit here looking back at my experience I'm really glad that I took the time to go and stand on the corner with them. To know what it is like, to see the faces of those going into the clinic, to get to know these dedicated people who use there time and endure the negative comments and gestures to save the lives of unborn babies and offer alternative services for those who come to the clinic. As I spent my time there I started with apprehension, but instead I was amazed to find peace standing there on the corner.I now look at these dedicated people as friends and people I will pray for as they do their work, and people I will see again because I will be back from time to time to stand with them again.
 |
| My new corner friends |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)