Writing in the dirt

I've been sitting here watching a movie tonight about a man who through all sorts of difficulties and trials he finds God. How listening to God changed his life, and how he lived out his faith. During the story he has a visit from his pastor and the tells the man that he has felt the call to preach. The pastor take butt of an ear of corn and writes the date in the dirt and tells his him to remember a that date, to remember that this was a very important day.

As I watched this act of recognition, I knew, recently I've had those days. The first day was October 2nd, 2010, the day I began this blog with tears in my eyes and an intense need to finally let go of the pain and share my story. That day was the beginning of a new path for my life. I had been listening for God's guidance for years, but since that day my hearing has become sensitive, sensitive to hear and feel God's presence in my life. That day I realized that as long as I held onto the pain and shame of abortion, I could not hold on to God. By giving up the hold pain and shame, I allowed God to fill me with grace and forgiveness. This past three years I have grown in my faith in God, and have accepted that He will take this part of my life and use it to bring healing to others. The second day I want to write in the dirt is October 5th, 2013. This is the day that God decided to challenge me to do more, to actually get up and speak the words in front of my peers, to again share my story. 

I've began the process of compiling what I want to say. But today I felt the need to recognize God working in my life. To recognize that he is real and I can stand firm in that belief. To feel peace about my past and assurance that He is there with me as I go forward.

Today I pray for you, for those who read these words, who have not been able to let go of pain, guilt and shame in your life. Know that is possible to be free from it, and know that God can change your life.

The next step

When you make the choice to be open to God's leading you have to be prepared to taken down roads that leave you panic stricken, uncomfortable, left at a loss for words, the whole nine yards. I've spent the last 24 hours attending a Women of Faith conference which has left me feeling deeply convicted that I needed to take my story to the next level. Not just write somewhat anonymously, but to be willing to stand before a group of my peers and tell my story. I must say I'm petrified at the thought, but I know that just like facing putting the words to the page here in my blog, I will now trust that God will have my back, and will stand beside me as I share my words.  I'm scheduled to speak in September of 2014, so I have the next eleven months to prepare, pray and decide which details of my story is most important to tell. 

Accept forgiveness and trust God to lead you into the unknown, to places you would never dream of venturing. You will grow beyond what you could ever imagine.

Time passes

Time passes. It`s 10pm on Sunday night on April14th, 2013, yesterday we attended  memorial service for a beloved Uncle, and now we are sitting and waiting for my husband's sister to take her last breath. This last few weeks have been filed with loss and pain.
In spite of the heartache of loss I thank God for he peace that he provides when life throws difficult time at us.
Today I pray for the people around me, for God to take his child home and end her suffering and for her family that will be left behind to grieve.
We will all face death one day, and what we do with those days before our time comes will determine our outcome on the other side.
Loss of life, death of loved ones, force us to examine ourselves, and look at what is important. Ask yourself, are there fences that need mending, relationships that need reconciled? Don't wait for it to be to late to try.