Funny how things happen, but today I had the need to go to "that" post office again, and there they stood again. Today I looked for them, I tried to recognize faces, I wanted to see them there.
After completing my task at the post office I drove right past them, today I smiled and waved.
As I pulled around the corner, my throat choked up, and tears welled up in my eyes. Today I'm thankful for the blessing that those people brought to my life.
Today I can drive by them, no more shame or guilt clouding over me. Today I can truly say I know healing has taken place in my life. I will always regret that choice all those years ago, but I know that I have become the woman I am because of that choice too.
I've realized the importance of letting it out until it stops hurting, giving this pain and grief to God, and asking for that forgiveness, over and over again, until I finally let go and believe that I'm truly forgiven.
If you are out there, still in the grip of that pain and hurt, find help. Know that you can find peace after abortion.
I've sat and watched the television program Grey's Anatomy last two episodes, and they featured one of the doctors making the choice to have an abortion because her need to be a surgeon was more important. They showed her husband with her in the office for the procedure, and then last night they showed them after the fact, hardly speaking to each other until the end of the show, where they both got sick together, which seemed to smooth things over between them, but never address how they felt about the abortion now that it was done. Their choice was not to talk about it. So I get the writers need to show the struggle in the decision to have the abortion, but they did little to address what it does to you later. I can only pray that maybe down the road they will take the next step and show the pain that can fester under the surface and that abortion changes the course of your life, even when you don't realize it.
I've meet some amazing women through this process and have been amazed at the number of women that were already in my life that are affected by our right to "choice”.
In my mind we as survivors are a family, we all know what this is, and how it has touched our lives. Standing together is the only way that we will survive. Know you are loved by all of us and there are more caring people out there then you will ever realize, willing to stand beside you as you step out of the shadows.
I pray that this world will see what this procedure is doing to the women around us, and it brings about change, but for now I pray for the women who are still hiding in the shadows, not ready to face the secret.
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