Fear & Faith

It's a little after five in the morning on Christmas morning.  With no kids in the house, it's peaceful except for my husband adding wood to the fire and working on his computer, and the stirring of the dogs. This is a first for us, to have a time of quite reflection before the chaos begins.

In just a few hours my boys will be arriving with their wives for some family time with us before they head off to other family visits and Christmas celebrations. Then we will have my parents and other extended family arriving to join us for dinner and family time for the afternoon and early evening. 

So now, while I have a little time I want to share a story with you. A story of an unexpected pregnancy, story of faith.

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Two thousand years ago there was a young woman named Mary, and she was engaged to be married to Joseph. The families were preparing for the wedding, they were preparing for their life together, and the family they would raise. 

Joseph was a successful carpenter in the area and was considered a righteous man among his peers when he began to search for a wife; he would have been a good catch for any of the girls.  

As he evaluated the girls in his area, there was something about that girl Mary; she seemed to stand out above the rest.  She had a good family, she shared his faith in God, and she was the one!

Mary and Joseph's belief in God would be in the foundation of their upcoming marriage. 

As the wedding drew near, something happened to Mary. An angel appeared to her and told her that God had found favor with her and she was going to become pregnant and carry the Son of God. (Matthew 1:18)

If Mary lived today what would she have said at that moment?  Excuse me, what did you say?!?! I'm a virgin, and you are telling me that by the Holy Spirit, I've become pregnant with the Son of God? You have got to be kidding me! What am I going to tell my parents, how am I going to explain this to Joseph? Will he even marry me now? Will I have to go on welfare, or continue to live with my parents? You know there's that clinic down in town; they seem to know how to deal with this stuff, maybe I should check it out, act like this never happened....

Well back in that day, this was something that would have brought great disgrace to the families and especially to Joseph (some things haven't changed that much). So when he was told the news of Mary's condition, he had some choices of his own to make. So much for his status in the community, what would the guys down at the carpenters union say? Did she really cheat on me? What was so special about that girl Mary? 

So Joseph began work though his hurt and anger, to question what should he do? He decided that a quiet divorce from her was his best solution. He did love and care about her, so this solution would avoid exposing her to public disgrace, but as he considered this an angel appeared to him as well, and told him to not be afraid to take Mary home as his wife because the baby she carries is from the Holy Spirit. That she will give birth to a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save the people from their sin. (Matthew 1:19-21)

Mary and Joseph were extraordinary people of faith, faced with a difficult task.  As I've attended Christmas services I had the privilege of witnessing a song performed in sign language by my daughter in law that moved me very deeply that I want to share with you. It reflects the questions that Mary might have had all those years ago and how she trusted God in all the confusion.

I'm sure that most of you are at least somewhat familiar with this story, and I have to ask myself what would Mary and Joseph have done if there had been clinics and doctors available to them? If there were yellow page ads of all the places you could go for your freedom of choice? Would they have chosen to terminate this pregnancy, to hide this strange event, to not interrupt the plans that they had been making?  To say we didn't ask for this, we don't have the money, we don't want to shame our families, to say I'm not ready for kids yet, this doesn't fit into our plan, for Joseph to say "this isn't my son"...how many excuses do we make when we are the ones faced with an unexpected pregnancy? Are we afraid, yes, was Mary and Joseph afraid, I'm sure they were. I'm also thankful that they did not allow the fear to overtake them, they chose to have faith and accept God's plan for them to raise this special child that would change the world.

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I know that when I was faced with my unplanned pregnancy, that I allowed myself to be overwhelmed with the fear of being a disappointed to my family and to God, and having my abortion only brought about a different kind of shame and guilt that has been much more painful then if I had brought that child into this world. I'm sure I would have faced shame in exposing my behavior to my family, but that time would have passed as the child grew and became part of our lives. Now I live with the knowledge of my behavior and the knowledge of never knowing that child in this life which I believe is much worse.


Thankfully I have the faith now to know that I am forgiven for those acts, and have the grace and love of God to shield me. I also have the faith that some day I will meet that child in heaven.


I pray that you all have a Blessed Holiday.